Can we even say we're surprised!? Jamie Foxx CONFIRMS that him and Katie Holmes are…

March 10, 2016 11:00 AM

Matt Stacey

Weekend Contributor

Written by Matt Stacey:

Can we even say we're surprised!? Jamie Foxx CONFIRMS that him and Katie Holmes are…

Over the weekend, while shuffling through New York's Soho neighborhood, Katie Holmes was seen sporting what appeared to be an engagement ring on her wedding finger. And rumors abound that her relationship with Jamie Foxx might have gotten real serious, real fast. 

That's cool. Mix it up, people. Let's give Suri a little mochachino baby brother or sister to hang with on those dreary ass LA days in Malibu.

Because while the paparazzi simply wants to know, "Have they.. or haven't they?" I can tell you who DOES know the truth:

Tom Cruise knows the truth. 

And so does the Church of Scientology.

Sorry, A$AP Rocky. Guess which talented Black man just got one step closer to the modern Illuminati while you were sleeping on the job?  

Welcome to the jungle, Mr. Foxx. So glad you could join us. Table for one. 

In regards to the "secret" courtship between Holmes and Foxx, this is one of those unions where race difference should be the LAST question on every one's mind.

Because now, the first question one should be asking is, "Would I have the balls to date Tom Cruise's estranged Ex-Scientologist, ex-wife? "

More power to Foxx, because my answer (to quote the very eloquent Tony Montana) would be a resounding, "NO. FUCK NO."

Because, if you don't think Holmes' every public (and maybe 'not-so-public') move is monitored by someone from the Church.. and then reported to the head nut, David Miscavige, and then to Cruise (who holds one of the highest positions within the organization)...

Then I'm sorry, but your Thetan level is simply unacceptable.

Sorry, Jaime, but saving people from burning cars is going to feel like a cool Summer breeze after several years (or months... it is celebrity dating after all) dealing with an invasion of privacy that would put the C.I.A. to shame. 

However, it might all make for a bad ass plot to a new Mission Impossible film! 

Someone get CAA on the phone, pronto..

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